Posted by
Kontrol_Frique on Wednesday, September 09, 2009 11:26:00 AM
Dear Mr. Green,
I just moved to Texas from the Northeast, and I've discovered that nothing will ruin an afternoon playing with the kids like a mound of fire ants. My daughter stepped on a nest of fire ants this weekend, and by the time they finished biting her, her ankle swelled up to the size of a cantaloupe.
I've got to rid my yard of these ants. Do you recommend spot treatment like Amdro when I see a mound, or a broadcast pesticide over the entire yard?
Burned in Texas
Dear Burned,
I'm not surprised that you're having trouble with ants, after the misguided, deceptive, entymophobic policies practiced by the evil Bush when he was governor there. But you're taking the wrong approach.
You need to understand the ants' point of view. They probably have reasons to be angry and bite you, after years of oppression by you and the previous owners of the property. Instead of attacking them, you should seek to engage them in a reasonable dialogue, without preconditions, ask them what they want, and give it to them.
If that doesn't work, and they still bite you, I'm sure you deserve it. And your daughter, too.
Mr. Green answers all your backyard and gardening questions. Just post your questions here.